![]() ![]() My friends are big Mario fans and gamers. While my final day also involved spaghetti, plunging, and jumping, I also wanted to end my Mario week with a bang. Wait, a marathon is a race… Day 5: Game over! So I came to the conclusion that maybe Mario is more of a jogger. Today I tried sprinting from side to side, but quickly tired myself out. But I ended right back where I started, and that’s a dub in my book. ![]() Guess I’m not an aggressive enough driver. I was Mario.Ī couple people passed me, though, and it seems like they took great joy in passing Mario. The karts went slower than I thought they would but WOWIE. I drove like a maniac!!!!!!!!! A maniac who drives at a very reasonable speed that’s definitely under the speed limit. I doubted they’d have a DMV in the Mushroom Kingdom anyway. When they actually let me buy a ticket, I was thrilled: I don’t have a driver’s license, but it didn’t matter. Thankfully, I followed golf with karting. ![]() Mario must be free of this endless cycle of hole after hole! What a terrible existence. And Mario is subjected to it every time someone wants to play Mario Golf. Again, a couple holes in, I started to think: I’m not very good at being Mario. Next I went golfing, as Mario is wont to do. That is until the VERY NICE LADY WENT BACK AND GRABBED ME A SNORLAX EVEN THOUGH I HIT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! Maybe I didn’t have the physical coordination to be Mario? A wave of disappointment fell over me. That excitement was very short-lived, as it turned out I was not good at archery at all. Sonic was not there, but the lady in charge seemed very excited to see Mario. Even the tables were Mario-colored.įirst up, I jumped my way over to an archery booth to live my dreams of Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games. Karting, golf, archery - the New York City neighborhood is an oasis for a person living as Mario for the week. Luckily, the day turned around, because after work I traveled to Coney Island to do Mario stuff. Image: Christina Gayton/PolygonĮating raw mushrooms did not seem like a good idea and it wasn’t. But what mushrooms does Mario actually eat? What mushrooms could I eat that wouldn’t kill me? Google had few responses to “mushrooms that make you hype as fuck.”Īfter acquiring the only mushrooms Whole Foods had to offer, I returned to the office and dug right in. but was immediately tired without caffeine. Once I got to the office, I started working. Photo: Christina Gayton/Polygonīy riding this green dinosaur head on a stick, I could ride the subway while still maintaining the authenticity of being Mario. Speaking of jobs: At this point, I wasn’t doing my job because I spent so long looking for spaghetti. This story has a happy ending: I found ALL the spaghetti. Where was the spaghetti? I needed spaghetti. Walking the freezer aisle, I was shocked to discover they had just a singular spaghetti. In need of sustenance, I headed to a bigger grocery store guaranteed to have frozen spaghetti. I also discovered delis do not take big coins as payment. So I, Mario, just stood and waited while my roommates ordered. But lo and behold, most Brooklyn delis do not have spaghetti- or mushroom-based meals available for breakfast. I headed to my local deli to find suitable food. But I needed to find spaghetti or mushrooms. Tuesday was a work-from-home day, so I went with my roommates to go get some food. Where would Mario’s life take me next? Photo: Simone de Rochefort/Polygon Day 2: Here we go! With a full belly, I went to my actual home. I just thought it’d be really funny for people to see Mario drinking sangria.) Image: Christina Gayton/Polygon But what I did know is that Mario loves sangria. Twiddle his thumbs? Stare at other people eating? I didn’t know. But what does Mario do while waiting for his food? Go on his phone? No. Not my actual home, but Mario’s cultural home, Little Italy.Īt a local ristorante I ordered the spaghetti carbonara. ![]()
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